WoOa-HOooo! December 21, 2006

So i’m going out, man, going out of my twenties.  Heading into the thirties.  Supposed to be married by now, aren’t I?  Supposed to have been married AT LEAST once by now, eh?????

(sigh)

I’m in heaven.  I live in Paradise, the food is wonderful, the air is thick with the Spirit.  SPIRIT! There are beautiful people everywhere, and the water is…..so freaking blue I want to scream.  Thank you Divine Love.  Thank you , Thank you….

So what I’m wondering is where did all the faith go?  Faith in a One True God (which also goes by the name “Infinity”), faith in other people, faith in Love, faith in Our Selves.  When did the world fially let go of the hope.  When did we stop believing in our Fairy God Mother?  Even yet, when did we stop acknowledging our faith, when did we cut off it’s flow of love? Is that the programming of early childhood, when we learn that magic is of the devil and women are weaker than men?   Like an arm that has fallen asleep in the  middle of the night, I’ve woken up in the middle of my life and I couldn’t feel my heart.  I’m so glad that I’m not afraid to love life with the level of passion that I do, so thankful that it didn’t take me longer to realize what a precious gift I’ve been given. 

If there is any one thing I would reccomend to everyone out there, it would be this:

-Forgive yourself of anything you’ve ever done “wrong”, and see the situation as a learning opportunity.

also: 

-Follow your hearts dream and keep your intentions in the best place as much as possible.  If you fail at any time to do so go back to the first reccomendation.

-Don’t settle on love.  If you fail to do so at any time, it’s gonna hurt, take a moment and go back to the first reccomendation.

-Forgive others of their wrongdoings, we’re all human and perhaps your forgiveness will serve as an inspiration.  If you fail to do so…..you know, the first…

Life is a big journey.  Thank You to Whom It May Concern, for giving me such a blessed path to travel. 

Amen.

So Sunday I went with my daughter, her friend, and my roomate to the New Thought Church in Kealakekua.  They have different speakers every week talking about SO many different things,  soooo many different perspectives, that’s what I like about the place.  Sunday there was a woman doing a shamanic “journey” , we started off with a smudging at the door, she brought like twenty or so handmade drums and rattles that we played for about ten minutes.  She taught about the four directions, the spirits and meanings  of them, we were a big circle and took time to greet each direction appropriately.   After a while we all lay down on the floor (there was a large assortment of pillows to choose from) and had a big naked orgy.

Just seeing if you’re still paying attention.

No really, we lay around in a circle, our feet pointing out and she played a drum and walked us through a personal journey to find our spirit animal.  To make a long story short……I found myself in a cave, surrounded by animals, and none of them was mine.  I came out of the spiritual adventure sans spirit animal and I’m okay with that.  We got up and “danced our animal”  while shaking rattles and moving in a circle.  I just danced. 

So, I’m turning thirty in a couple of weeks, I’m still sleeping around and praying for my soul mate.  I really thought it would be over by now.  And yet I’m glad it’s not and that ’s probably why I’m still not settled down.  Not to mention the fact that I hang out with a bunch of non comittal, unattached, single men who average five or so years younger than me and have NO children.  Duh.  Really, there are some sweet single fathers out there, but I only know one and there’s a waiting list.  

My best friend on the island went out on a date with the father of my youngest child last night, and I babysat her son so she could do it.  This is the dawning of the Age of Aquarius, friends, all bet’s are off.

I’m gonna rip my friends CD’s to my computer and check my email.  Then I’m going to pack my daughters travel bags, she’s flying to Arizona to hang with Granny for a couple days, and going to Idaho for almost a month to be with her father and their family.  My angel’s been downhill skiing since she was three years old.  That’s my girl. 

I’m rambling, I’m searching for something that’s on the tip of my tongue.  I want to grab  you by the arm and give you a big hug.  Blessings and I’ll see you on the flipside.  AMEN